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Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer Is Retiring. But His Insane, Frothy YouTube Clips Will Live On.

By / 08.23.13
imagemaker / Shutterstock.com

imagemaker / Shutterstock.com


Steve Ballmer is, of course, the CEO of Microsoft, and as such, he is the man many love to hate. No matter what is wrong with a Microsoft product, it is ultimately the fault of one Steve Ballmer. However, unlike that wuss Chris Brown, Ballmer has proven Internet-hate resistant and is departing gracefully sometime in the next year.

Here’s what Ballmer had to say about his upcoming departure:

“There is never a perfect time for this type of transition, but now is the right time,” Ballmer said. “We have embarked on a new strategy with a new organization and we have an amazing Senior Leadership Team. My original thoughts on timing would have had my retirement happen in the middle of our company’s transformation to a devices and services company. We need a CEO who will be here longer term for this new direction.”

Ballmer is referring, of course, to the fact that Microsoft now actually make stuff in addition to publishing code that is widely derided by nerds, but used by pretty much everybody anyway because dammit, that’s the only way to get Steam. Ballmer took over for Bill Gates, and now the question becomes who will take over Microsoft right as it’s got an ugly holiday fight with Sony over games consoles and the struggle to make Windows Mobile relevant on the Android and iOS dominated market.

Actually, we have a theory. Steve Ballmer is retiring because he doesn’t like his coworkers. Let them deal with that crap. But don’t worry, you guys — we’ll always have YouTube to remember him by…


TAGSMICROSOFTRETIREMENTsteve ballmerTech

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