Jesus Freaks Oppose Palm Scanners Because Of Mark Of The Beast Or Something

Senior Contributor
08.20.12 7 Comments

Look, I get being freaked out by a school introducing a palm vein scanner. It seems to be a bit of a weird solution to what amounts to an accounting problem. I’ve had to use those things to verify my identity and I question their use if for no other reason than they’re imprecise and well, creepy.

So I’m in sympathy with parents in Louisiana’s Moss Bluff. The school has announced that to make sure the kids all get their lunches and that nobody gets stiffed, they’d be using a palm scanner. Although the school, it should be noted, said that kids can opt out and the palm scanning is in no way mandatory.

Or I would be in sympathy except…

“As a Christian, I’ve read the Bible, you know go to church and stuff. I know where it’s going to end up coming to, the mark of the beast. I’m not going to let my kids have that.”

If you are wondering what the hell this person is talking about, when even she doesn’t even seem to realize what she’s talking about, it’s referring to a passage from Revelation, specifically 13:16-17, which says that when Satan takes over the planet he’ll make everybody get the Mark of the Beast in order to buy stuff. No, seriously.

Of course, there’s a bit of a leap from a palm vein scanner to burning the Number of the Beast into the foreheads of grade schoolers. And the parents have every right to not let their kids use this palm scanner, for whatever reason.

That said, what, did you think Arizona had too much of a market on crazy, Moss Bluff?!

image courtesy crimsonedge34 via Wikimedia Commons

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