Mt. Gox, Which Desperately Needs Money, Magically Found Millions Under The Sofa Cushions Or Something

Senior Contributor

When we last checked in on Mt. Gox, the exchange that had flushed $350 million worth of Bitcoin down the toilet with its incompetence, they were filing for bankruptcy and getting sued. They really need money… and it looks like a bunch has just magically turned up!

See how far you can get through this report from the New York Times without snorting incredulously:

Mt. Gox said on Friday it found 200,000 “forgotten” bitcoins on March 7, a week after the Tokyo-based digital currency exchange filed for bankruptcy protection, saying it lost nearly all the 850,000 bitcoins it held, worth some $500 million at today’s prices.

According to Mt. Gox, it was in an old-format wallet they didn’t think held any bitcoins, but it turns out, it totally did! What an awesome coincidence to happen, in an area of finance with no interest from regulators and thus few if any tools of actually determining if this is factually accurate! How lucky for Mt. Gox!

Many believe, and yours truly is among them, that there’s a lot more to this Bitcoin heist than Mt. Gox is admitting. This wouldn’t be the first time somebody noticed Bitcoin has zero interest from regulators or law enforcement, and just took everyone’s money. The fact that it’s relatively anonymous helps matters considerably.

There are enough class action lawsuits, and actual real money that has gone missing, that the whole truth will come out eventually. See, kids, this is why you back your currency with a large army that owns nukes.

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