It doesn’t take much to get verified on Twitter. Really, all you have to do is submit an application and they’ll verify anybody*. Seriously, there are no standards**. In other words, it’s just like online dating, so combining the two was inevitable and has also now happened! Rejoice!
Mashable reports that the latest upgrade/publicity stunt by dating app Loveflutter, is something called Loveflutter Blue. Essentially, it’s a dating app for those 200,000 people (well, accounts) who are verified on Twitter, because, you know, Brad Jaffy and PewDiePie can’t just date any old rabble that makes its home on the internet. If you’re verified, you need to be with someone who gets it — someone who understands that laying down sick replies to politicians and movie stars isn’t just for fun; it’s a calling.
Needless to say, it’s extremely unlikely that anyone you’d actually want to message, let alone date, will sign up for this service. And it’s also important to remember, as Mashable points out, that not all people who are verified are celebrities, internet famous, or even a good person. Richard Spencer, for instance, is one of the 200,000 people who are verified. So is Taylor Hicks (although, okay, he’s a catch). And so are a host of now-cancelled TV Land sitcoms***. Happily Divorced hasn’t tweeted since 2014, but a shot at love is a shot at love, you know? What else would machines become sentient for if not a meaningful connection?
For us plebians, all hope is not lost! Loveflutter is still available to those who aren’t verified. It’s unique in that it includes users’ tweets on their profile, which may be genuinely useful since Twitter tends to be where people show the world exactly who they are. Granted, this may mean that you never find a match, since the true horror of everyone’s personalities is on display. But we suppose the same is true of online dating everywhere.”
*Ed Note: Dan is not verified on twitter.
**In fact, he’s been turned down twice now!
***Not Dan, though!