Art Mullen is a badass.
We’ve known this for awhile, but it’s nice to be reminded sometimes, and last night’s bang-bang-shoot-’em-up episode of Justified was just that: further proof that among badass TV grandpas, Art is second to none right now. I say “right now” because he’s got some competition for the MOST badass AARP member, from Breaking Bad‘s Mike Ehrmantraut and Game of Thrones‘ Tywin Lannister. Rather than having them compete against each other, in a battle of brains, brawn, and Bill Hayes records, let’s instead see what we can learn them, so that one day, our Marshal stifies be as impressive as theirs (ew).
1. Enter every room/conversation/battle on a horse. This is important
2. [SPOILER ALERT?] by your own terms.
3. Still be able to drink with the best of ’em.
4. Speak carefully, harshly, and terrifyingly.
5. LOB MOLOTOV COCKTAILS (a specific example, but that’s nice form, Art).
6. Find time to spend with your family.
7. Make sure everyone knows you’re still able to get IT up, despite your age.
8. You’re old and wise enough to call everyone out on their bullsh*t.
9. Know that the pen (well, quill) is mightier than the sword, until it’s not.
10. Recognize a fellow old man badass.
HONORABLE MENTION: can’t forget about you, Hershel.