We’ve always gots to give credit where credit’s due, and the guys behind Workaholics gots to get all the credit in the world for coming out with some seriously f*cked up material for the first episode of the show’s fourth season last night. “Orgazmo Birth” featured everyone’s favorite worst coworker Montez trying to use his TelAmeriCorp enemies to get out of catering to his pregnant wife Colleen’s every need by offering to pay for their EDC tickets if he can tag along. This worked out well because Anders didn’t want to shell out the $160 for a ticket when he’s still going strong with his Unplugged collection.
Of course, as is the case with any good drug-fueled rave, Anders, Blake and Adam ended up on a completely different adventure, and I don’t need to explain it to you because you already watched “Orgazmo Birth” and gave it an F for FRESH. Instead, I’m going to keep adding to my trusty Workaholics dictionary/glossary with this week’s 10 new words and phrases that the guys taught us.
What’s the point of even attending EDC? According to Adam, it’s the Neon Titties. They’re blinding, and that’s exactly how Adam wants to go blind. Hopefully, he’ll reach his goal before the end of this fine series.
“I’ll Suck Yo Dicks!”
Now before you freak out, as Montez explains, this is a 90s saying. He doesn’t really want to perform oral sex on the guys in order to hang out with them. It just means that he’s desperate to do whatever they’re doing, because Colleen keeps farting all the time, and he’d figuratively blow them to join in on the EDC fun.
The DDT Thing
This is what old dude Bill refers to EDC as, showing just what an old loser that he is. Naturally, if there was such an event as the “DDT Thing,” we’d all be lined up to get in 1,000 hours in advance, because I sure wouldn’t want to miss Jake the Snake teaching us how to properly pull off one of wrestling’s original classic finishing moves. But poor Waymond, though. I wish they would have included him.
The Ders Effect
With every cause, there’s a DERS EFFECT. You hear that drop in that wicked electronic song? That’s the Ders Effect, brought to you by the one and only DJ Ango, like Django… unchained… get it? And while Adam doesn’t get it, he’s pumped that Ders is yet another person who thinks that he can be a DJ by pressing play on a laptop. It takes talent to make that beat drop.
You can’t sprout energy like a flower and have all of the Neon Titties sniff it if your Dance Body doesn’t have a solid core. There’s a lot of energy out there at the DDT Thing, and if you don’t catch the energy, then you’re not going to enjoy yourself.
So sayeth Karl, AKA the Human Genius: “We are one massive tribal village that transcends manmade law…” and then we lost him because he traded his Molly for Blake’s remaining Astropop. I think it’s a decision that all of us would make.