America’s Next Top Model (CW) — Marisa Miller shows up on tonight’s episode, slumming almost as badly as that time she got married. Above is a picture of her at Spike’s Guy Choice Awards, where she presumably won the Guys’ Choice Award. Photos from tonight’s “ANTM” here; Miller’s “salute the troops” Harley-Davidson campaign here. Go ahead, make a joke about your penis saluting.
Friday Night Lights (DirecTV) — I don’t have DirecTV and this won’t air on NBC until next summer, so I’m just going to pretend this show isn’t happening until then. It’s easier for me that way.
Top Chef (Bravo) — Is Natalie Portman talking about fellatio? No? Then I’m not interested unless someone cooks up a reason to put Chef Jennifer in a bikini again.
Modern Family (ABC) — One of the unsung factors in this show’s success is that the child actors don’t suck, which is surprising, since I didn’t realize there were four good child actors on the entire planet. The kid who plays Manny is terrific.
Tyler Perry’s House of Payne (TBS) — Season 6 premiere. Not even Obama could explain to white people the appeal of this show.
World Series (Fox) — Game 6, Phillies at Yankees. I like the Phillies to win, assuming the rules have been changed to allow Chase Utley to bat in place of everybody else in the lineup.
The Lake House (Oxygen) — I saw this on a date a couple years back. There are some nice shots of Chicago architecture, but aside from that, it’s hilariously awful. It should have been called The Time-Traveling Wormhole Mailbox.