Men of a Certain Age (TNT) — Series premiere. I loathe, loathe, loathe “Everybody Loves Raymond” with the heat of a white dwarf’s millennium of constant fusion reactions, so I’m naturally disappointed that this is getting such good reviews.
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (ABC) — It’s the animated special where the characters all have apple cheeks and creepy dead eyes. Oh yeah, they’ll murder you in your dreams.
Carrie Underwood: An All-Star Holiday Special (Fox) — Here she is in a bikini. Yay!
Million Dollar Listing (Bravo) — Does the douchebag with the annoying hair get murdered? No? Then I’m not interested.
Monday Night Football (ESPN) — Baltimore Ravens at Green bay Packers. As always, there will be live-blog action at KSK. While I have nothing personal against Joe Flacco, I would like to see him throw eight interceptions tonight. And if he could somehow throw those INT’s to Donald Driver, who then returns them for touchdowns, that would be ideal.
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives (Food Network) — Is anyone surprised that this travelogue of low-class joints is hosted by Guy Fieri? “And here’s another great place to score cheap coke! You can actually get a gram for free at this rest stop if you’re willing to blow a trucker in a bathroom stall.”