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CHARLES BARKLEY WAS *TURRIBLE*

By / 01.11.10

The only reason I even still do these “Saturday Night Live” recaps is because people need a place to gather and talk about surviving the unfunny experience, kind of like AA. Why on Earth Charles Barkley hosted I’ll never know — maybe NBC wanted extra incentive for the sports fans to stay tuned in after the Eagles-Cowboys Wild Card game? Anyway, the writing on for Saturday’s show was better than usual, but if I can borrow his speech pattern for a moment, Charle Barley wad turrible. Juh turrible.

It was a performance hypnotic in its awfulness. Barkley delivered his lines in an oddly soothing monotone, often a beat or two late, looked off into the wrong camera more than once, gazed intently at his cue cards and appeared on the verge of giggles throughout. [A.V. Club]

And how ’bout that Alicia Keys? Listen, as someone who lives in New York, I’m required by state law to love “Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down.” But I’ve got a real problem with one of the lyrics, when she calls New York City a “concrete jungle where dreams are made of.” That makes no sense. It’s either a concrete jungle where dreams are made, or a concrete jungle that dreams are made of.

So which is it, Alicia? Is it a concrete jungle constructed of dreams? Or isit a concrete jungle where people dream and make their dreams come true? YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. Man, I haven’t been this mad about musical grammar since Paul McCartney sang about the “world in which we live in” in “Live and Let Die.” You only need ONE preposition, jerk!


TAGSAlicia KeysCHARLES BARKLEYNBCsaturday night live

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