CORRECTION: Brutus is a brown bear, not a grizzly. But the headline stays because it sounds better.
Seven years ago, Casey Anderson rescued a five-month-old bear cub. Fully grown, the bear, Brutus, stands seven and a half feet tall, weighs half a ton, and consumes 20,000 calories (about the same as your mom). In the video below, Anderson talks about what it’s like to have a bear for your best friend, and suddenly owning a dog seems pretty lame. Although I suppose my Rottweiler mix craps less.
What’s this have to do with TV, you ask? Well, the video comes from Oprah’s website. And sure, it’s from last May, but COME ON, people. I’m not going to ignore a man whose BEST FRIEND IS A BEAR. Think how easy life would be. You’d never have to wait to get the bartender’s attention at a crowded bar. No one would ever try to cut in front of you. If you had a grizzly in the back your pickup truck, I’d wager you could leave the keys in the ignition without a worry. And I’d probably go in person to the cable company. “Oh my God, a BEAR!” “You’ll have to pardon my friend. He hasn’t eaten today, and he gets angry when I wait on hold for twenty minutes to get a customer service representative.”