Archer (FX) — Series premiere with back-to-back episodes. I’ve been excited for this since last July, and when FX ran a sneak preview in September, I thought it was even funnier than “Community” and “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” Basically, if you were a fan of “Sealab 2021” or “Frisky Dingo,” then you’ll like “Archer.” If not, then you can go hang out with the bitchy Washington Post critic.
Community/Parks and Recreation/30 Rock (NBC) — New episodes return tonight with the following guest stars: Jack Black, Will Arnett, and James Franco, respectively. Nice.
Project Runway (Lifetime) — Season premiere. There’s a theory that last season sucked because it was held in the can for so long and was shot in LA instead of New York. I dunno, I prefer blaming Lifetime. (Also held in the can? My wang.)
CSI: Original Flavor (CBS) — Millions and millions of people watch this instead of “30 Rock.” I’m friends with none of them.
Ace of Cakes (Food Network) — Season 8 premiere. Whoa, Season EIGHT?!?! Man, those cake shows grow and regenerate like algae.
The First 48 (A&E) — Season premiere. Obviously, tonight is the big night for networks to roll out their new material. It’s like the September of winter. Like, there are new shows, but everything from the content to the weather is generally crappier.