Law & Order: SVU (NBC) — Remember the news about Ann-Margret and Jaclyn Smith guest-starring? That’s this episode. Also making an appearance tonight: Morgan Fairchild. What, did no one think to call Farrah Fawcett? What’s that? Oh. Never mind then.
The Ultimate Fighter (Spike) — Season 11 premiere. Chuck Liddell and Tito Ortiz are the two coaches, reviving the hottest UFC rivalry of five years ago. (Here’s Chuck and a porn star. Here’s Tito and a porn star.)
South Park (Comedy Central) — Tonight’s episode addresses medical marijuana. Watch a preview clip here.
In Plain Sight (USA) — Season premiere. Another USA series I’ll never see.
The Real World (MTV) — Season finale. Man, that season took forever. I feel like I’ve been ignoring it for the last year.
Human Target (Fox) — Moon Bloodgood — of Terminator: Salvation and hippie parents — guest stars.
It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown (ABC) — This is in the 8 o’clock slot of ABC’s Wednesday comedy lineup. I will never forgive ABC for not giving “Better Off Ted” a fair shot.
America’s Next Top Model (CW) — Considering that this is followed by moronic reality turds “Fly Girls” and “High Society,” the CW really deserves more scorn for being an evil hybrid of Bravo and VH1 that targets gays and teenage girls.