9:00, ABC – Modern Family. “Gloria surprises Jay for his birthday with a trip to Hawaii, but it’s the gift that keeps on giving at the airport when the entire Pritchett clan is invited to come along.” Skyjinks? More like, “sky hijinks.” That’s what I always say.
8:00, Bravo – Top Chef Masters. Replaces the unsuccessful Worst Chef Masters, which probably featured a college kid trying to make tacos by throwing frozen ground beef in a Foreman grill and then shoving it into a slice of bread with a slice of American cheese. “Mr. Cinco De Mayo would be proud!” he said with a smile.
9:00, Fox – American Idol. This is a television show which is on television. This concludes my entire body of knowledge about American Idol. For more informed reading, I recommend checking out Maura Johnston.
9:00, TNT – NBA Playoffs, Spurs at Suns. The Suns are protesting Arizona’s immigration laws by wearing jerseys that read, “Los Suns.” If the Weathermen were still around, this is so what they’d be doing. No, I kid. Nice gesture.
8:00, FX – Spider-Man 3. This movie is based on events that actually happened to Matt Ufford.