Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the local news story of the year: a New Jersey woman has been charged with practicing medicine without a license after she gave several women illegal buttocks injections with bathtub caulk. Hahaha, “caulk in the butt.”
According to court documents, Anivia Cruz-Dilworth (pictured) told the women that she was a trained professional and that she would inject them with a substance the 28-year-old called “hydro-gel,” which is supposed to enhance the buttock.
Instead, the New Brunswick resident injected her clients with a silicone sealant, the very same material used to caulk bathtubs. The injection sites were also sealed with Krazy Glue. Cruz-Dilworth, who has never been medically trained or educated to perform these injections, subjected the women to serious infections, ranging from cellulitis (a serious bacterial infection of the skin that spreads) to necrosis (tissue death). Several of the women had to undergo multiple surgeries. [ATL Night Spots via Videogum]
It helps if you imagine Cruz-Dilworth — Dilworth? Seriously? This story HAS to be made up — speaking in the voice of Dr. Nick Riviera from “The Simpsons.” “Hi, everybody! Whoa! I see you have a bad case of flat buttosis. I’ve got just the thing for that!” *fills syringe with caulk*