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Ferris State Gets Robbed

Relax, Everybody: Charlie Sheen Just Had a Bad Night. That’s All.

By / 11.09.10

Charlie Sheen has spent the last two decades being a violent drug-fueled menace to women, but the way he sees it, if police show up while he’s naked and trashing a hotel room with a high-priced prostitute locked in the bathroom, well, gee, that’s just an average guy having one bad night. Chill out, everybody.

“If a guy has one bad night everybody goes insane and panics… I’m not panicking,” Sheen said.

That’s right, it’s the hooker’s job to go insane and panic.

Still missing his rare Patek Philippe 5970 watch worth $150,000 that he claims he lost the night of the incident, the actor didn’t seem to be too upset. “The way I look at it, if you have expensive tastes, you gotta be prepared for expensive losses.”

“Listen, I like really expensive whores. Eventually, some of them are gonna go missing. Wait, did I say whores? I meant watches. And whores.”


TAGSCharlie SheenDRUGSHOOKERS

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