Ladies and gentlemen of the Internet, meet your new king. Antoine Dodson had a nice run, but there’s a new gay man on the local news to be auto-tuned, and he LOVES sequins.
This news report comes from King 5 in Seattle, and it starts out as the dullest news story ever made: it’s about people shopping at Goodwill’s annual designer event. But then our intrepid reporter goes for the man-on-the-street interview, plucks Eyebrows McSleeveless from the crowd, and asks him what he’s doing. “Tons of f*cking sequins!” is his natural response on live television, because — let’s face it — he’s doing tons of f*cking sequins. I know it’s wrong to swear on live TV, but I think he deserves a pass. Let he who has not been euphoric about an influx of sequins cast the first stone.