Golden Globes (NBC, Sunday) — Ricky Gervais has promised to go further in his jokes about celebrities than he did last year, and he’s admitted that he has Charlie Sheen in his sights. God, I can’t wait. I wish there was a way to combine the drunken coolness of the Golden Globes with the respectability and glamor of the Oscars. Because right now the two awards shows deliver either a complete farce of nominees or Hollywood acting imperiously self-important.
Saturday Night Live (NBC) — Gwyneth Paltrow hosts with musical guest Cee-Lo. As always, hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
Miss America Pageant (ABC) — Whoa, this is still on network television! Crazy. Did you know that Miss Delaware Kayla Martell is completely bald due to alopecia? She must save so much money not having to wax.
Big Love (HBO, Sunday) — Season premiere. Not exactly the best choice to put it up against the Golden Globes, but HBO seems less enthusiastic about promoting this ever since last season was widely panned.
NFL Playoffs (NBC/CBS/Fox) — The NFC is an afterthought this weekend, with the big stories being a pair of Round 3′s for division rivals: Ravens at Steelers (Saturday) and Jets at Patriots (Sunday). Follow the action all weekend long at KSK. Also: go Seahawks.