Onion SportsDome (Comedy Central) — Series premiere. Sports satire shows have always failed, and given the preview videos, I don’t have high hopes for this, either. I think the New York Times nailed it: “It’s funny to think of the mayor of St. Louis giving the home-run hitter Albert Pujols the skeleton key to the entire city — ‘Our homes, our cars, our Internet access, our showers and whatever’s in our fridge. All of it is yours, Albert’ — but hearing it read by an anonymous actor is probably less funny than reading it yourself would have been.”
Tosh.0 (Comedy Central) — Season premiere. Antoine Dodson will appear in the season opener, and we’ll also see Tosh’s season-long fashion statement revealed. I’m hoping for sleeveless cowboy shirts. FUN FACT: Tosh and Dodson are wearing the same red Adidas tracksuit as Sofia Vergara in the previous post.
Lights Out (FX) — Series premiere. I’m as loyal to FX as your grandparents are to CBS, but I have no intention of watching this. The “old white boxer makes a return to the ring” couldn’t possibly sound less original to me. Unless he was named Rocky.
Teen Mom 2 (MTV) — Season premiere. Four new teenage mothers see what it’s like to do a terrible job of raising children who will inevitably grow up to be strippers.
Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo) — Season finale. I think a good season finale would be letting Patti Stanger loose on a secluded island, then 15 minutes later sending a pack of hungry wild dogs after her. Tell me you wouldn’t watch that.
I want more like this!
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