The Secret of GNIVIRD KNURD

“Burn Notice” star Jeffrey Donovan caught a huge break in his DUI case, cutting a deal with Miami prosecutors to plead down to a lesser charge of reckless driving.

Donovan was arrested for DUI in 2009 after peacefully driving home without incident. Then, later that night, he watched a video tape of an incident that showed him almost crashing into a cop car, then telling the officer, “The only mistake I made tonight was drinking Benadryl with 3 glasses of wine.” He screamed “That’s not true! That’s not true!” but nobody would listen to him.

According to court documents filed in Miami, because Burn Notice is also real life, Jeffrey was sentenced to six months probation and ordered to pay more than a $1000 in fines and other charges. If he’d been convincted for DUI, he would’ve faced six months in prison. No word yet on what sentence he faces for having a blood orgy, eating an owl and killing those tourists at Coffin Rock.

I’m trying to make jokes here, but Jesus Christ, what was Blair Witch 2 even about.

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