A Super Bowl (FOX, Sunday) – The Pittsburgh Steelers take on the Green Bay Packers in a championship game featuring more discussion about date rape and sexting than any other in history. The Black Eyed Peas will make discordant noises and sneak in a bunch of made-up slang that means curse words during halftime. If you watch, wave to Matt!
Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials (CBS, Friday) - You should consider “I don’t care about football, I watch the Super Bowl for the commercials!” as secret code for “punch me in the goddamned face as hard as you can.” Skip the show and read this instead.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) - Boy, I’ll be GLAAD when this is over. In an episode straight out of twelve years ago, Dana Carvey hosts with musical guest Linkin Park.
Hockey Afternoon In America (NBC, Sunday) - If you like football, but wish it was faster and whiter, give hockey a try as my Washington Capitals take on the Pittsburgh Penguins. The game is followed by the Freestyle Skiing World Championships, which is a lot like hockey but without scoring. So, like the Caps in the playoffs.
New Jersey Themed Marathons (various, all weekend) – A&E is running a Sopranos marathon, MTV has sixteen hundred hours of “Jersey Shore” and style has an all-day marathon of “Jerseylicious.” Cartoon Network has a marathon of a show called “Destroy Build Destroy” which might be about New Jersey, I haven’t checked.
By request, here’s what happened last night.
[More at TV Squad]