Conan (TBS) — Last week, Conan plucked a random audience member — a disheveled young six-foot-ten beanpole named John — to go to New Orleans and record his experience for the TBS show. After missing his flight back to California, John will give his report tonight. Interestingly, John’s girlfriend is former “America’s Next Top Model” contestant Lexie Tomchek (see video above), and together they run a blog called Weed and Kittens, where Lexie wrote, “I rubbed Conan’s nipples because wouldn’t you if you were given the chance?” Ummm… well, yeah. Probably.
Glee (Fox) — Gwyneth Paltrow returns to the show. She and Matthew Morrison reportedly sing songs about sex, including a Gwynnie cover of Prince’s “Kiss.” Whoops, looks like I’m gonna forget to watch this.
Southland (TNT) — Season finale. It’s Ben’s final day as a rookie on the force. Wait, really? It’s Season 3 and he’s still a rookie? And didn’t he shoot a guy on his first day on the force? I have to think that being a rookie isn’t such a big deal after that.
Dirty Jobs (Discovery) — Season finale. There have now been seven seasons of this show, and sometimes it’s obvious that the production company is running out of ideas. I’d like to see Rowe do a season of white-collar dirty jobs. Like, he’s an executive assistant with a boss who grabs his ass. Or he’s a college graduate who has to do data entry for $11 an hour, and he spends his days flipping between Microsoft Excel and his favorite blogs. Then at the end of the show he can get treated for carpal tunnel syndrome.
Zombie Alligators (NatGeo Wild) — This is a re-run, but I couldn’t help but direct your attention to ZOMBIE ALLIGATORS (see clip below). Unfortunately, it’s NOT about undead alligators who roam the countryside hunting for braaaainnnnnsss; it’s about alligators who get disoriented and die. Way to kill my buzz, NatGeo Wild.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Gary Oldman and Drive-By Truckers on Conan; Aaron Eckardt and Malin Akerman on Lopez; Topher Grace and old-school hottie Catherine Deneuve on Fallon. Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, and Fallon are all repeats. Full listings at TV Squad.
