A couple weeks ago, I posted a clip from NatGeo’s “Taboo” that detailed grossly obese 30-year-old Stanley Thornton’s “adult baby” fantasy, which he lives out with the help of his grossly obese roommate, Sandra Dias. Neither have a job, and both collect Social Security checks. That got the attention of Senator Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), one of Congress’s premiere waste-watchers.
“Given that Mr. Thornton is able to determine what is appropriate attire and actions in public, drive himself to complete errands, design and custom-make baby furniture to support a 350-pound adult and run an Internet support group, it is possible that he has been improperly collecting disability benefits for a period of time,” Mr. Coburn wrote in a letter Monday to Inspector General Patrick P. O’Carroll Jr. [Washington Times]
I won’t get into the caveat necessary for a Moonie newspaper, but the Times emailed Thornton for a response, and it is nothing short of sublime.
“You wanna test how damn serious I am about leaving this world, screw with my check that pays for this apartment and food. Try it. See how serious I am. I don’t care,” the California man said. “I have no problem killing myself. Take away the last thing keeping me here, and see what happens. Next time you see me on the news, it will be me in a body bag.”
No, Stanley. Wait. Come back. Please stay on this planet. Please let us keep paying taxes to support you. I can’t imagine my life being happy without knowing that your 350-pound body is shoved into a diaper and pretending to be the baby of your horrific blob of a roommate. I couldn’t possibly go on living without your model of strength and perseverance.