Everyone Should Be Fired

I hate this commercial so much. Actually, not just this commercial — this whole series of commercials. Each one is essentially the same, featuring this bartender guy showing the viewer how to make cocktails using Disaronno, an Italian amaretto-y liqueur. Now, I’m not an amaretto cocktail guy (craft beers and Jameson, if you’re buying), but that’s not my beef. To each their own. My problem is that the drinks he’s teaching the viewer to make are so painfully simple that it’s insulting. To drive the point home, allow me to transcribe the above ad:

Today, we like Disaronno on the rocks and ginger ale. Ice. Disaronno, the original. One and a half ounces, and it’s Disaronno on the rocks. Ginger ale, four ounces. It’s that easy. Disaronno on the rocks and ginger ale.

So, to recap: to make Disarrono on the rocks with ginger ale, you need Disaronno, ice, and ginger ale. Thanks, Einstein. What’s most frustrating to me is that commercials like this could actually be useful if they taught the viewer how to make real cocktails. Not enough people know how to properly make drinks. But no, instead we get “HURR DURR to make a rum and coke you need rum and coke k bai.” Seriously, based on how stupid they seem to think consumers of their product are, I’m surprised the commercial didn’t start with helpful tips like “First, get a glass. Don’t just pour the ingredients all over the counter,” or “When you’re driving to the liquor store in your car, remember, the right pedal means go.”

In conclusion, screw you Disaronno. I don’t need a liquor commercial to talk down to me and insult my intelligence. That’s what beer commercials are for.

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