CBS is truly the perfect network for Warming Glow readers. Because the median age for blog readers is 58, CBS’s lineup of straightforward crime procedurals and unchallenging multicamera sitcoms shot in front of a live studio audience is just like candy for people who are unaware that other channels exist. Like hard, Werther’s original candy.
CBS unveiled its new schedule this morning, with notable time shifts for “CSI” (it moves to Wednesdays) and “The Good Wife” (moving to Sundays). You’ll also see the intriguing new shows in boldface. This list is completely serious and I changed nothing at all. I wouldn’t DARE tamper with anything as serious as new CBS shows.
MONDAY
8:00-8:30 How I Met Your Mother
8:30-9:00 Oh No You Didn’t!
9:00-9:30 Two and a Half Men
9:30-10:00 Mike & Molly
10:00-11:00 Hawaii Five-0
TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 NCIS
9:00-10:00 NCIS: Los Angeles
10:00-11:00 NCIS: Miami
WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 Survivor: South Pacific
9:00-10:00 Criminal Minds
10:00-11:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (new time)
THURSDAY
8:00-8:30 The Big Bang Theory
8:30-9:00 Sassytown
9:00-10:00 Survivor: North Korea
10:00-11:00 The Mentalist
FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 Hawaii Five-0: Molokai
9:00-10:00 CSI: NY
10:00-11:00 Blue Bloods
SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 Rules of Engagement (new time)
8:30-9:00 Farts My Dad Has
9:00-10:00 Hawaii Five-0: Los Angeles
10:00-11:00 60 Minutes: CSI
SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 60 Minutes
8:00-9:00 The Amazing Race
9:00-10:00 The Good Wife (new time)
10:00-11:00 CSI: Miami
Okay, so maybe there was a little tampering. You can see the real schedule with new show descriptions here. It might be worth giving a chance to “Person of Interest” — the new drama from J.J. Abrams that inherited “CSI’s” coveted 9-10 p.m. slot on Thursdays. It stars Jim Caviezel and Michael Emerson (Benjamin Linus from “Lost”) as “an ex-CIA agent and a billionaire who team to stop crimes.” Someone who worked on the pilot wrote this to me last month:
Person of Interest is just about to wrap in NYC and is looking f*cking awesome. I usually judge somethings badassness by counting the numberof people who get shot in the knee caps, and let’s just say a lot of bad guys have trouble walking after the pilot ends.
Hmmm, I might actually have to find out where CBS is on my cable box.