Here’s the New 2011-12 CW Schedule, For Some Reason

The CW unveiled its new fall schedule, which I will share with you because it’s important to know what shows you’re never going to watch. New shows added to the rotation are:

  • “Hart of Dixie,” in which Rachel Bilson stars as a New York City doctor who inherits a practice in “a small Southern town inhabited by an eclectic and eccentric group of characters.”
  • “Ringer,” starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as a woman on the run from the mob who poses as her twin sister — who is also wanted. I think that’s one of the stupidest f*cking things I’ve ever heard, but Josh is looking forward to it.
  • “H8R,” the reality show hosted by Mario Lopez in which celebrities meet the people who despise them. You lost me at “Mario Lopez.”
  • “The Secret Circle.” Vampires are sooooo yesterday! The hot new things that don’t exist are witches.

The CW: making lousy shows for teenagers and emotionally stunted women since 2006. Full schedule below.

MONDAY

8 pm Gossip Girl

9 pm HART OF DIXIE

TUESDAY

8 pm 90210

9 pm RINGER

WEDNESDAY

8 pm H8R

9 pm America’s Next Top Model

THURSDAY

8 pm The Vampire Diaries

9 pm THE SECRET CIRCLE

FRIDAY

8 pm Nikita

9 pm Supernatural

(via EW)

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