Tomorrow night, “Extreme Chef” will premiere on the Food Network, and please do yourself the favor of watching this sizzle reel IMMEDIATELY. It is three minutes of reality television so preposterous that it renders satire obsolete. The description:
Each episode pushes three chefs to their physical and mental limits as they must adjust to extreme conditions and unpredictable curveballs such as swimming across a lake for ingredients and using a car engine as a makeshift stove.
Unfortunately, that summary doesn’t quite capture the hilarity of people barreling through hay bales and hiking through mountains while wearing their white chef’s coats, so here are actual quotes from the video to spice things up:
“Your first X-factor: dust storm!”
“You WILL be handcuffed.”
“You’ll be making breakfast… with rattlesnake.”
“Now I gotta source my produce from a fourth grader?”
“Go milk your cows!”
“I just made a restaurant-quality dish out of cuticle scissors and a sack lunch. That’s pretty extreme.”
GRRRR SO EXXXTREME!!! “For your next challenge, I’m going to throw a T-bone steak, a bottle of Tabasco sauce, and one Monster energy drink out of a C-130 at 15,000 feet. You must collect the items in freefall, deploy your parachute, and have your dish completed by the time you hit the ground.” I want to do Jager bombs with the executive who greenlit this.
(thanks to Vince for the tip)