Doug Hutchison, a 51-year-old actor who appeared in “Lost” and “The X-Files,” married a 16-year-old singer named Courtney Stodden last month in a ceremony that older men everywhere are calling “totally awesome.”
At least, that’s the story from E! Online. Celebuzz found a modeling page of Stodden that lists her at 17, while Hollywood casting directors with eyes would describe her as “too old” to play a high school girl. Regardless of her true age, she’s still young enough to need her mother’s permission to marry this gnarly pervert.
As much as I applaud scoring teenage tail in your 50s, I can’t help but question the wisdom of marrying a 16-year-old. I mean, sure, they’re great to get pregnant, but you don’t want to raise a kid with them. That’s why I never tell high school girls my real name.
(Click through for Stodden’s terrible music, her super-classy modeling photos, and Hutchison’s creepier roles.)
Holy good God, this song is awful. It sounds like Ke$ha’s music with lower production values. And I think a better title might have been “Don’t Put It In Me.” Because she’s underage, you see.
New rule: if a 16-year-old looks like this, it’s not illegal to sleep with her. It’s just not.
(images via BuzzFeed)
Stodden competed in the Miss Teen USA Washington pageant.
America, where 51-year-old dudes can still marry 16-year-olds. (*sniff*) “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Looooord…”
- Archer, Arrested Development, Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Comedy Central, Commercials, Community, Conan, Fargo, Game of Thrones, Girls, Homeland, House of Cards, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Justified, Letterman, Louie, Mad Men, Nathan Fielder, Netflix, Orange Is The New Black, Parks and Recreation, Review, Rick and Morty, Seth Meyers, SNL, Sons of Anarchy, South Park, Stephen Colbert, The Americans, The Blacklist, The League, The Leftovers, The Simpsons, The Walking Dead, True Blood, True Detective, Veep
- Geek & Sci-Fi