What’s on Tonight: U-S-A! U-S-A!

Covert Affairs (USA) Season premiere. It’s a big night for USA, as this CIA procedural starring Piper Perabo debuts alongside Season 3 of White Collar. “White Collar” is the better show, but I’m giving “Covert Affairs” — “and for people who’ve never seen ‘Alias'” — the lead here because it has cooler screencaps (I thought the choking one was a little too drastic for the banner image).

Soccer: USA vs. Canada (FOX Soccer, Telefutura) — The first step on the road to the 2014 World Cup begins with this Gold Cup opener from Ford Field in Detroit. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Soccer? In Detroit? How am I not there?!?!” But I, for one, plan to find a bar with the game and root for Los Gringos. Kickoff is 8:00 Eastern.

NBA Finals (ABC) — Game 4, Heat at Mavericks. I know it’s not popular for me to say it, but I don’t hate LeBron James or the Heat. Sure, it was a low blow to televise “The Decision,” but c’mon: he picked Miami over Cleveland. I can’t fault anyone for doing that.

The Voice (NBC) — Live performances begin with the final 16 contenders. I also read something about how the coaches will perform a medley of Queen songs, but I wasn’t paying attention so I don’t know if that’s tonight. More likely the results show tomorrow. The important thing is that it doesn’t really matter.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Kyle Chandler, Kathy Griffin, and guest drummer Sheila E on Letterman; Kevin Bacon and Bethenny Frankel on Leno; Larry King, the non-Kim Kardashian sisters, and My Morning Jacket on Fallon; Flavor Flav on Conan; and an ironic pair on Kimmel: Paris Hilton and National Spelling Bee Champ Sukanya Roy. Paris: “I’ve sucked on a Roy before.”

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