Six Sickeningly Exploitative 9/11 Specials

Do you remember what you were doing on September 11, 2001? I was in my ninth grade American history class, probably learning about Archduke Ferdinand, because at no other time in your life do you ever learn about Archduke Ferdinand (he caused World War I!), when someone yelled from the hallway to turn the TV in our room on. And ever since that moment, nearly a decade ago, there has been an endless stream of TV shows and specials about the tragedy that happened that blue September morning. That media coverage will culminate in the coming weeks before the ten-year anniversary with more than 40 TV specials across various networks.

Many of the three-dozen-plus specials sound extremely worthwhile and well-meaning, like Linda Ellerbee’s “Nick News Report on 9/11,” aimed at kids too young to remember the events of September 11 (this Thursday at 9 p.m. on Nickelodeon). But — and this will come as a big shock, I’m sure — many networks are set to broadcast programs that do nothing but exploit the tragedy to bring in viewers. Here are six of the worst.

“When Pop Culture Saved America,” September 5, 8 p.m. (Bio Channel)

In ascending order, these are my five favorite things in life: 5) my friends and family; 4) the New York Mets; 3) my fiancée; 2) the Carolina Panthers [Editor’s note: ouch]; and 1) pop culture. I don’t know what my life would be like without “The Simpsons” or the Replacements, and in many ways, pop culture has made me the person who I am today. But at no point did Denis Leary or Regis Philbin ever save me or America in the weeks, months, years following (or before) September 11. And yet: “When Pop Culture Saved America” aims to show how the “non-news media,” including Dan Rather (isn’t he news media?), Regis, and Leary (whose “Rescue Me” finishes its seven-season run on 9/11, too), “pitched in to bring the nation together.” UGH. It’s like the back-scratching and ball-fondling of the Oscars times a million. Also: I think Adam Sandler performing as Operaman at the Concert for New York City did more harm than good.

“American Greed: 9/11 Fraud,” September 7, 9 p.m. (CNBC)

This special — which will “reveal the illegal lengths people will go to steal money following a national tragedy” — sounds interesting enough (even if the three criminals they’re profiling have already been widely covered)…but there’s no reason for it to exist. What can be learned from “American Greed”? People are awful? Knew that. People will try to make a fast buck (or 68,000)? No surprise there, either. People will take advantage of a tragedy? Knew that, too — just look at CNBC’s programming the night of September 7.

“Children of 9/11,” September 5, 10 p.m. (NBC)

This one just sounds sick. According to an NBC press release, “Children of 9/11” “follows a year in the lives of [children affected by the attacks on September 11], watching them overcome the loss and turn their lives around, by achieving ambitions that would make their parents proud.” I really hope the 11 kids profiled turned out mentally sound, because I can’t imagine having video cameras following them around, constantly reminding them that their parents were horribly murdered, is a good thing. Some things just shouldn’t be on TV, and watching children attempting to cope with tragedy is one of them.

“The Love We Make,” September 10, 9 p.m. (Showtime)

For years, I’ve debated which Beatle is my favorite: John Lennon or Paul McCartney. Lennon’s more of an A-hole, which I like, but I find myself preferring McCartney’s songs, including my favorite of theirs, “I’ve Just Seen a Face.” (George Harrison wrote the lyrics for “Within You, Without You,” making him ineligible for favorite anything, and Ringo’s…well, he’s Ringo.) Then I found out about “The Love We Make,” Showtime’s documentary about how September 11 made the former Wings singer feel feelings, and the Favorite Frontman Firearm was pointed towards Lennon, so to speak.

“The Love We Make” “captures McCartney’s experience in New York on 9/11 and in the months after, as he planned and performed the star-studded benefit ‘The Concert for New York City’ at Madison Square Garden,” according to AOL TV. In that same article, McCartney, in his typical self-congratulating way, says, “It was an honor to be able to help New York…at that time in its history.” Because nothing celebrates America more than a documentary about a guy from England planning a concert in the World’s Most Overrated Arena. I’m not sure what “The Love We Make” is trying to accomplish. As painful as The Concert for New York is in retrospect (at the time, in October 2001, even I couldn’t resist the Goo Goo Dolls singing “Iris”), it did raise a lot of money for those in need — but “The Love We Make”? Just because you can get a famous person to appear on your network doesn’t mean you always should.

“Witnesses to 9/11,” September 11, 10:40 p.m. (History Channel)

“Milhouse, how could you let this happen?”

“I saw the whole thing. First it started falling over, then it fell over.”

/only scene from “Witnesses to 9/11”

“Voices from Inside the Towers,” September 10, 9 p.m. (History Channel)

I can’t wait until 2040, when the History Channel celebrates the hundred-year anniversary of the opening of Auschwitz with never-before heard audio of the Jews screaming for mercy in the camp showers. And coming in 2054: actual footage from the Rwandan Genocide, to mark 60 years of 800,000 innocent people being murdered.

While writing this article, I stumbled across a YouTube clip of a 9-1-1 call from a man trapped in one of the World Trade Center buildings, a man desperately trying to get help from the authorities, even though he ultimately knew there was nothing that could be done. The call ends with the man screaming, “Oh God,” then nothing. It’s horrifying to listen to, and I felt like a monster for having done so for four minutes. “Voices from Inside the Towers” will extended that awful feeling for an hour.

For the most part, these specials confuse, anger, and sadden me because the events of 9/11 aren’t something we need to be reminded about, even on its 10th anniversary — we’ll never forget what happened. The images of the burning buildings are still all around us, on t-shirts, wine bottles, coloring books, and “Simpsons” stills. (I work in a 50-floor building in Midtown Manhattan, so it’s impossible not to think “what if?” from time to time.) If a network wants to air a knowledgeable special with interviews from those in the know, like the Smithsonian Channel’s 9/11: Day That Changed the World, there’s nothing wrong with that. But dedicating airtime to dogs and Denis Leary, and all the wonderful things they did in the post-9/11 world, is just exploitative, because networks know that people will uneasily watch for the simple reason that the date “September 11” has a resonating, darkly magnetic value to Americans.

But who cares about that? I want to know how Paul McCartney got The Melissa Etheridge to sing “Come to My Window.”

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