Watch out, America: “Dancing with the Stars” just got c*nty. The new cast for Season 13 of ABC’s reality hit has been released, and the judgmental bitch whose venom made Casey Anthony a sympathetic case is one of the contestants. I’m sure people will tune in just to see what it looks like when Grace tries to twist her anger hole into a smile.
The rest of the cast is intriguing as well:
Clockwise from top left:
- Kristin Cavallari, former reality star recently dumped by Bears quarterback Jay Cutler.
- Ron Artest, NBA star and noted head case.
- Ricki Lake, person from a previous decade.
- David Arquette, weird person.
- Chynna Phillips, the hot one in Wilson Phillips.
- Carson Kressley, prominent homosexual.
- Chaz Bono, former woman.
- Hope Solo, brash goalkeeper for the U.S. women’s soccer team and light of my life.
- J.R. Martinez (NOT Seal), “All My Children” actor who was severely burned in a Humvee while serving as an infantryman in Iraq.
- Elisabetta Canalis, Italian actress and George Clooney dump-ee.
- Ron Kardashian, probably a douchebag.
I have to say, I kind of like this cast. With the possible exception of Ricki Lake, there’s no likable fat chick or wholesome dorky idiot that dumpy Midwestern wives are going to gravitate to. And who knows, maybe Ron Artest will flip out and punch Nancy Grace. Now THAT would be worth a season-long suspension.
(cast photo compilation via E!)