Yesterday afternoon, news broke that the CW would re-make the late-’80s CBS show “Beauty and the Beast,” a tale of two actors (Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton) who would go on to take take badass roles in better projects. That news comes on the heels of ABC’s announcement to make an hour-long drama from the French fairy tale (you may remember that parent company Disney had a modestly successful animated film about the story), which will join the ever-growing list of fairy tale-based shows like “Grimm” (NBC) and “Once Upon a Time” (ABC again) that debut this fall.
But will this be enough to satisfy our ever-increasing demands for Beauty and the Beast stories? How can we say that we were sated by Beastly if we know that Guillermo del Toro is making a Beauty and the Beast movie with Emma Watson? When will we have enough retellings of the same story?
NEVER! I, for one, won’t be satisfied until ALL networks have Beauty and the Beast-inspired programming. CBS can make “CSI: Beauty and the Beast,” in which a beautiful female detective is drawn to disfigured but sensitive forensics analyst. NBC can make a smart ensemble comedy that nobody watches. VH1 can make a Beauty and the Beast reality dating show — although technically they kind of already did that with Flavor Flav and Bret Michaels. Still, they could take beautiful women (who say they’ve been mistreated by jerks and just want a “nice” guy) vie for the love of a Beast. OR a group of ugly, sensitive men could try to win the heart of a bikini model.
Please, Hollywood executives. Don’t listen to complaints that you’re devoid of new ideas and creatively bankrupt. I DEMAND MORE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. THIS IS A THIRST THAT CANNOT BE QUENCHED.
P.S. Someone CC: Bravo on this video. They’re gonna need a gay version. “Beauty and the Bear,” maybe.