A few weeks back, I saw a headline about Bravo star Bethenny Frankel almost being lost at sea, but I didn’t write about it because I can’t stand Bethenny and it seemed likely to be overblown reality TV bullcaca. Hey guess what:
The man who “rescued” the reality star and her husband last month after their boat supposedly broke down near Nantucket now says it was all scripted for her Bravo show, “Bethenny Ever After.”
Tim Russell told Jewish Journal that he was called to their boat by Frankel’s therapist — the vessel’s captain — at 5 a.m. to come and tow them back to shore because they had broken down. Before Russell, the therapist had called the coast Guard, but they refused help because the boat was not in danger. [NYDN]
It would be even better if the Coast Guard refused to assist her even if she WERE in danger. “Sorry ma’am, we have to do what’s best for America.”
But wait, the best parts are still to come:
Sure enough, when Russell, a 40-year vet on the water, checked their coordinates (which were read to him off the boat’s GPS, even though Frankel later claimed it had broken), he also realized the watercraft was fully functioning.
Still, Frankel’s therapist — a sailor with 30 years of experience — insisted Russell come get them, which he found extremely odd. Once he arrived, Russell noticed it was a party of nine: Frankel, her husband Jason Hoppy, the therapist and six Bravo crew members filming it all.
Russell ended up not even towing in Frankel’s boat. Instead, they started up the boat and followed him back to shore without a problem.
But that didn’t stop Frankel from jumping off the boat and kissing the dock — after the camera crew got off first to capture it all, of course.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, Frankel also lied about the $2800 tip she told Ellen DeGeneres she gave Russell as a thank-you for “saving” her life. He insists there was no such gesture made to him.
And as for Frankel’s joke that she would sleep with him as further reward, Russell said he would rather be “shipwrecked.”
In case that was all too much for you to read, here’s the Cliffsnotes: Bethenny pretended to be lost at sea, called the Coast Guard and anyone else for help, hugely inconvenienced a good Samaritan who wasn’t needed, and then bragged about giving him a tip after she did no such thing.
I have a lot of angst about the future the world: polar ice caps melting, overpopulation, the end of fossil fuels, the collapse of first-world markets, etc. And yet if I could change just ONE THING about the world, I’d round up everyone who’s ever made or appeared in a reality show, tie them to heavy rocks, and dump them into the South Pacific.