House (Fox) — Season premiere. As we saw in the featurette last week, “House” is in prison after driving his car into Cuddy’s house. Not the subtlest way to let a woman know you care, but certainly effective.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS) — Kal Penn guest stars in his first TV role since leaving “House” for the White House. (I’ve used the word “house” a lot in this post.) This is kind of unrelated, but if you say “Kal Penn” fast it sounds like “cow pen.” Not the sexiest name.
Two and a Half Men (CBS) — Judy Greer has a brilliant sitcom career that includes “Arrested Development,” “Archer,” … and now “Two and a Half Men”? Aw dammit. Anyway, she plays the wife who left well-endowed handsome billionaire Ashton Kutcher. Because that happens.
Warehouse 13 (Syfy) — Two-hour season finale. It’s been a while since I’ve been lectured by a geek for not watching Syfy.
Prohibition (PBS) — This episode of the documentary is called “A Nation of Scofflaws.” Oh, 1920s slang, you really are the bee’s knees. Now get a wiggle on, ya buncha layabouts. Time for Daddy to have a jorum of skee, right?