Because teenagers are stupid and annoying, I sometimes forget about the often difficult quest of getting wasted when you’re underage. I take for granted that I can walk into any liquor store and just buy a handle of Evan Williams whenever I want, or leave work to go to a bar and drink a beer.
That’s what makes this local news report from CBS affiliate KPHO in Phoenix the most hilarious thing I’ve seen all day. Apparently teenagers are soaking tampons in vodka and then inserting them vaginally (or rectally) to get drunk. Others are bonging beers rectally so their parents can’t smell it on their breath. Ah, the ol’ beer enema. “Lie back and think of England!”
Oh, also it destroys your vaginal wall and could give you alcohol poisoning. But worrying about your health is for old people. Party on, dudes! *jams whiskey bottle up ass, does hand stand*
UPDATE: As commenter Parduno points out, vodka tampons were a joke on “30 Rock.” Peep the video:
[News report via BuzzFeed]