What’s On Tonight: A Whole Heap of Stuff

Community/Parks & Recreation (NBC) – The second funniest hour on TV, behind any episode of “America’s Funniest Home Videos.” You can have your “satire,” and your “social commentary,” and your precious “plot.” I’ll take a chimp hitting a big fat guy in the ding dong with a wiffle ball bat. I’m very refined.

The Office/Whitney (NBC) – [notices these two shows across the room] [looks the other way, tries to act casual]

It’s Always Sunny/ The League (FX) – Here’s the thing about “The League”: I like the show. I do. But the football talk in it seems really forced to me. I understand that they have to make the references generic enough when they’re filming that things don’t end up stale or irrelevant when the show actually airs, but it always ends up sounding like a foreign movie where people are trying to talking about American stuff. “Did you guys see that foot ball game last evening?” “Yes, the runners scored many touch downs and the fans celebrated raucously.” “Raymond Rice of Baltimore is an excellent carrier of the of the old pig skin, to be sure.” My point is this: I am a jerk who pokes holes in perfectly nice shows and ruins them for everyone else. Hi!

Bones (FOX) – The seventh season premiere. Hey, did you guys realize that, between “Buffy,” “Angel,” and this show, David Boreanaz has been on network television almost non-stop since 1997? Think about that.

Burn Notice (USA) – USA’s flagship drama thingy is back tonight. Has he found out who or what burned him yet? I hope it was a koala in a baseball cap. I would definitely start watching if there was an evil koala.

Gabriel Iglesias Presents Stand-up Revolution (Comedy Central) – The commercials for this show look terrible. I heard one joke, which I have apparently blocked from my memory as some sort of self-preservation mechanism, that was so bad I actually groaned out loud like a cartoon. It’s a nice reminder that stand-up comedians aren’t necessary the funniest people in the world, just the ones who decided to do it for a living.

Beavis and Butthead (MTV) – Yeesh, there is a lot on TV tonight. My DVR is over in the corner doing pull-ups and listening to Slayer to get ready for the workout it’s going to get.

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