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Piers Morgan is a Horrible Human Being

By / 12.01.11

I’m terrible at introductions, so I won’t bother. I’ll just say this: We have a mutual love of Alison Brie’s boobs, as well as a mutual fondness for “Community” (I’ve been running a “Community” countdown elsewhere). You like “The Wire”? I commissioned this. I invented Butthole Day, and I made Christina Hendricks’ a$$ its mascot.

YOU STILL SUCK, ROWLES. BRING BACK MATT.

I know, I know. Get it all out. Turn the comments section into Veteran’s Stadium, if you’d like. It’s OK. It’ll make you feel better, and ultimately, that’s what we’re here for. But if there’s one thing I know from watching TV shows about fake politicians, it’s this: If the public hates you, don’t try to change their perception, direct their hatred somewhere else. Like, British buffoon and all-around wanker scab, Piers Morgan. Listen, Piers: When you’re attempting to say a few heartfelt words about the passing of a beloved comedian, here’s a hint: It’s a good idea to get his gender right, you flabby-faced knob.

“It’s a sad day for comedy with the death of Patrice O’Neal, who I know that you knew,” Piers Morgan said to his guest, Dane Cook. “She died of a stroke today. I want to take a quick look at Patrice on Jimmy Fallon, to remind everyone just how funny she was.”

The clip above doesn’t include segment after the Fallon clip (you can see it here), but instead of apologizing for getting a dead comedian’s gender wrong, he simply says that “he’s a very funny guy” before Dane Cook offers a few words of false sentiment while sucking all the air out of the room in the way that only the Prince of Douchelvania knows how.

Nice job, Piers. You’ve already aged into the senile old man that it took Larry King 107 years to become. Congratulations.

(Via Gawker)


TAGSPATRICE O'NEALpiers morgan

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