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By 12.05.11

In what I can only assume is some sort of dastardly, short-selling, funny money scheme to jump start withered libidos, make Viagra unnecessary, and send the entire pharmaceutical industry into a tailspin, “CSI: Miami” is bringing on legendary sex symbols Raquel Welch and Bo Derek for guest spots in the next few weeks. When reached for comment on this news, my grandfather said “Hello? WHAT? Hold on. I can’t hear you. Lemme get the thing. [sound of rustling papers and Rush Limbaugh’s voice in the background] Okay. What? Hello?” So, since he wasn’t very helpful, I’ll just blockquote TV Line instead.

TVLine has learned exclusively that the actress and 1960s/70s sex symbol will guest-star on CBS’ Sunday night crime drama as the matriarch of the very powerful Miami family from which Carlos Bernard’s character and thus his son Esteban (Kuno Becker) aka “The Miami Taunter” hail.

Welch’s episode is set to air in early 2012, following a guest appearance by another iconic bombshell, 10‘s Bo Derek (playing the owner of a horse stable, as EW.com reported).

While I’m clearly having some fun with the situation here, there’s no getting around the fact that Raquel Welch and Bo Derek were two of the most attractive women to grace the planet in their primes. And it’s certainly nice to see older actresses getting work, even if it is just a guest spot on a formulaic crime procedural. I can only hope this trend continues, and that thirty years from now I am titillated by the news that Tiffani Thiessen will have a five episode arc as an elderly neighbor in a gritty, urban reimagining of “Glee.”

After the jump, an incredibly weird video I just found of Raquel Welch dancing in some sort of bikini spacesuit.


TAGSBO DEREKCBSCSI: MIAMIRAQUEL WELCH

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