Elin Nordegren Is Not A Heartless Monster
"Powers" Not Strong Enough For FX?

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert Make a Complete Mockery of the Election

By / 01.17.12

A small refresher: Last week, Stephen Colbert announced his intention to create an exploratory committee in order to run for the President of South Carolina. By law, if someone become a candidate for office, he or she must relinquish any control he has of a Super Pac, one of those independent organizations that raises money on behalf of a candidate but can’t actually coordinate with the candidate. It’s a not so subtle way of getting around campaign finance laws. As a result, Colbert had to relinquish control of his Super Pac, Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow. He gave it to Jon Stewart, who renamed it, The Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC.

What is Jon Stewart doing with all of that Super Pac money, besides eating chewed food from Mario Batali’s mouth? He’s releasing commercials in South Carolina, one of which alleges that Mitt Romney is a serial killer.

“Mitt Romney claims to be pro-corporations,” said Jon Stewart, President of The Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC. “But would you let him date your daughter’s corporation? Americans have been clamoring for a comprehensive study of this crucial issue, so we splurged for the full sixty-second commercial. We think South Carolinians will agree – they deserve a leader who shares their state’s values, and perhaps even their state’s initials.”

Here’s the ad, narrated by the Trinity Killer himself, John Lithgow.

Now, if Colbert and Stewart could run ads like these in congressional elections all over the country, they might actually piss off our representatives enough to affect real, actual campaign finance reform.

Meanwhile, I think we should get involved, too. Think of it: The Warming Glow Super Pac dedicated to the election of Danger Guerrero as President, who will promise a Wawa on every street corner, Tastykakes in every pantry, and to institute a Nationwide Corgi Friday.

Guerrero/Annie’s Boobs 2012!


TAGSANNIE'S BOOBSDANGER GUERREROJON STEWARTREALLY IMPORTANT MATTERSSTEPHEN COLBERTWAWA

I want more like this!

Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.


Join The Discussion


[avatar]

Join the discussion. or Register





Powered by WordPress.com VIP