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“Sh*t Tim Allen Says” Exists, and It’s *Grunt Noise*

By 01.27.12

I hate the Sh*t X Say meme as much as the next guy who isn’t a Jamaican using the drive-thru. I thought it had reached its logical conclusion with “Sh*t Seattle People Say When It Snows Part 3,” a.k.a. The Trilogy (sorry, Randal), but I was wrong. Foolish. Naive, even.

The perfect endpoint is “Shit Tim Allen Says,” or more accurately, “Shit Tim Taylor Says.”

It’s brilliant, a response to the fact that no one’s actually saying anything in the Sh*t videos. They’re just a series of observational non-jokes that even Carlos Mencia wouldn’t steal (probably). “I ALSO hate it when that stoplight never changes to green when it’s below 50 degrees on the third Tuesday of every May outside of that bar that means something to me, but NOTHING to anyone else.” It’s the lowest form of comedy – not unlike Tim Taylor’s “Home Improvement” he-man grunts and UHHHHHNNNNs. Though if you play them all in a row backwards, you’ll hear an amazing short story about women’s suffrage, Balki from “Perfect Strangers,” and power tools.

TAGSHome ImprovementTIM ALLEN

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