Last night on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,” Tina Fey settled a beef with Roots’ drummer ?uestlove by eating a giant hoagie. As much as I want leave this post at that and hit publish, I will explain. The other night on the Bravo talk show “Watch What Happens Live,” ?uestlove had called out Fey, saying she was “never nice to The Roots” even though they’re both from Philadelphia. When she appeared on “Fallon,” she brought this up, saying her initial reaction as a Philly girl was to “key his car, drag him behind the Wawa” and kick his ass. Instead, they made up in the traditional Philadelphia way: they shared a huge hoagie.
As Uproxx’s resident Philadelphian, my official analysis of the whole situation is this: Wawa is the best. You don’t even know. It’s like the Wonka factory of convenience stores. (NOTE: If you try to come at me with some “So, what, it’s like a 7-Eleven?” bullsh-t, I swear to God I will cut you with a broken Yuengling bottle. Same for any of my fellow Eastern PA residents who bring up Turkey Hill or Sheetz. You would be unwise to test me.) They have delicious hoagies and coffee, as well as their own line of ice cream and ice teas. Without exaggeration, I would estimate that I went to Wawa for one thing or another no less than four times a week during college. It’s a little less frequent now, but BARELY. Usually, I get my standard order of one (1) foot-long chicken salad hoagie and one (1) half-gallon of ice tea. Sometimes I get chocolate ice cream, too. Seriously, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. Good Lord, now I’m getting hungry.
In conclusion, all you Californians with your In-N-Out Burgers can go jump in a lake. Wawa, son. Philly stand up.