Here are three TV news whippits to get your morning rolling:
First up, J.J. Abrams’ childhood pal, Greg Grunberg (“Felicity,” “Heroes,” “Lost”) has landed a new pilot, and it’s certainly not one that warrants placement on the 15 Most Promising Shows of the Pilot Season. According to Deadline, the show is called “Oh F*ck, It’s You,” and before you get excited about a show with a profanity in its title, know this: It’s on CBS, the same network that turned an amusing Twitter feed into the embarrassment that was “$*&T My Dad Says.” Worse still, the show comes from Greg Berlanti, who you may know as the guy behind three extraordinarily crappy shows: “No Ordinary Family,” “Brothers and Sisters,” and “Eli Stone.” He also wrote Ryan Reynolds’ Green Lantern movie, a green-pus filled blight on the comic-book movie genre. Seriously, that movie was radioactive swamp ass. Anyway, the pilot idea sounds as stupid as you’d expect from a schmuck like Greg Berlanti:
“Oh F*ck It’s You,” centers on Nick, a notorious womanizer who, after surviving a health scare, realizes that “The One” he has never found is actually his best friend of 15 years, Wendy (JoAnna Garcia). The problem is that Wendy is engaged to a guy Nick likes; she and Nick own a business together; and their attempt at dating back in college was a disaster. Grunberg will play Wendy’s brother Charlie, beaten down by life, outrageously acerbic and in the midst of a bitter divorce. He went to college with both Wendy and Nick and is Nick’s best guy friend. He was there when they dated, knows what a horrible couple they were, and warns Nick about the dangers his confession could bring.
See what I mean? And remember, Berlanti is also the guy who directed that Katherine Heigl mess, Life As We Know It. He is the worst. My hatred of Greg Berlanti is rivaled only by that of my hatred for Allan Loeb, another hack screenwriter who has inexplicably stumbled onto success by playing to people’s stupidity. One day, Berlanti and Loeb will get together and write a buddy comedy about a jiggling breast and a fart. It will make $500 million.
Moving on: Is anyone still watching J.J. Abrams’ “Alcatraz”? I gave up halfway through the pilot, as it looked like it was set to become yet another formulaic procedural. However, the folks over at sfist spotted a couple of egregious misspelling of San Francisco in the episode earlier this week:
Man, they’re not even consistent with their misspellings.
Finally, no matter your politics, I think most of us can agree that Mitt Romney is the lamest, least cool man to run for President since, I dunno, Walter Mondale? The man fails two very important litmus tests for me. You can never trust a man who doesn’t drink, and how can we entrust the nuclear button to a President that mangles a “Seinfeld” line this horribly? I mean, DAMN, he didn’t even attribute the quote to the right character. Even George W. Bush could’ve gotten that right, and George W. Bush couldn’t tie his own goddamn shoes.