Eastbound & Down (HBO; Sunday, 10 p.m.) – Season premiere. So begins the third and final chapter of one of the most unique comedies in TV history. It’s so good, it could woo you, fu*k you without letting you finish, leave without saying goodbye, come back asking for a gallon of free cocaine, take you out to Buffalo Wild Wings, fu*k you in Buffalo Wild Wings, and make you pay the bill – and you’d still be happy, because you were in its presence for even a moment. Can’t wait. (Trailer after the jump.) “Life’s Too Short” premieres after “Eastbound.” Speaking of…
Family Guy (Fox; Sunday, 9 p.m.) – ‘Ello. Ricky Gervais here. I’m writing this from the UK, where I created such modern masterpieces as “The Office” and “Extras,” to let you know that I’m guest starring on “Family Guy” this Not-the-Lord’s-Day-Because-Haven’t-You-Heard-I’m-An-Atheist. Yes, “Family Guy.” You may be asking yourself why I, Ricky Gervais, the creator of “The Office,” would do such a thing. The answer is simple, really…
/37 minutes later
…And that’s why I was unfairly vilified for my Golden Globes comments.
The Firm (NBC; Saturday, 9 p.m.) – I feel bad for the friends of the actors and actresses from “The Firm.” They must feel obligated to watch the show, just in case, say, Josh Lucas or Precocious Kid asks what they thought of it. “It was so…um…great…when you, like, Firmed and all.”
SNL (NBC; Saturday, 11:30 p.m.) – Whitney Houston or no Whitney Houston, that is the question when Maya Rudolph hosts. Sleigh Bells, who are about as loud as the Guitar Army in Rudolph’s best movie, Idiocracy, are the musical guest.
The Simpsons (Fox; Sunday, 8 p.m.) – 500th episode. Check out our favorite “Simpsons” GIFs here and every Chalkboard Gag here. Fine, one more gratuitous quote: “Look out, Itchy, he’s Irish!”
The Celebrity Apprentice (NBC; Sunday, 9 p.m.) – Season premiere. This year’s apprentices-to-be include Arsenio Hall, Debbie Gibson, Dee Snider, Lou Ferrigno, and George Takei. Those last two should ditch the Trump and start a band together. I would pay literally tens of dollars to see the Gay Hulk Experience.
The Walking Dead (AMC; Sunday, 10 p.m.) – “Shane finds Lori in danger.” That could apply to every episode of this show. Can they just die already, preferably ironically? “Oh no! Lori was killed by a withering scarecrow that didn’t know how to drive and wouldn’t stop whining, and Shane was trampled by a bald, steroid-addicted gorilla that had sex with literally EVERYTHING in its way.” I’d also accept throwing their corpses into a zombie bonfire.
Pan Am (ABC; Sunday, 10 p.m.) – Series finale. *Sad trombone noise*
