'Bob's Burgers' Blog Reveals Rejected Episodes and More Tasty Goodies

The last new episode of “Bob’s Burgers” aired on May 22, 2011. It’s been WAY too long since we’ve seen Bob (voiced by the former Coach McGuirk/current Sterling Archer, H. Jon Benjamin), Linda, Tina, Gene, and especially the rabbit-eared one, Louise. But thankfully, the show will return on Sunday, March 11. By the end of the season one, the Loren Bouchard-created show had really found its footing, and was consistently one of the funniest series on TV. There’s no reason to think season two won’t be even better.

During the long break, the writers of “Bob’s Burgers” began a Tumblr, called simply “Behind Bob’s Burgers.” (Sidenote: “Behind Bob’s Burgers” would make for a great porn name. “Would you like some spicy mustard in your bun…?”) What’s on said Tumblr? Well:

Welcome to Behind Bob’s Burgers! This is where the writers of the animated comedy Bob’s Burgers (Season 2 premieres March 11th on Fox!) will post exclusive art and audio content related to the show, as well as original comedy pieces, EXCITING CONTEST OPPORTUNITIES, videos of baby animals reenacting their favorite episodes, fan tattoos (keep ‘em classy!), and on and on and on.

So far, they’ve done exactly what they promised. There’s been fan-made art work, interpretations of the characters that we’ll likely never see on TV, rejected plot ideas, and season two spoilers, including, “Somebody gets pregnant…in an all-new way.” It’s an awesome behind-the-scenes look from one of TV’s most talented writing staffs, and like the show itself, it keeps getting better. Some of the finest entries, after the jump.

Bob’s Burgers: The rejected episodes

Not every idea we have can be solid gold. For every “Art Crawl” or “Sheesh! Cab, Bob?” we put out into the world, there are ten episodes we worked long and hard on but had to throw out for one reason or another. So here is but a small selection of rejected Bob’s Burgers episodes.

Imagine what could have been!

– Tina, Gene and Louise are sent to a “Scared Straight” program at the local prison and wind up incarcerated. Bob and Linda disagree on which kind of lettuce is best.

– Linda gets a perm but it’s PERMANENT!!

– Bob, Mort and Teddy start their own fight club as a response to society’s declining respect for masculinity. Gene discovers he is lactose intolerant.

– Bob can’t sleep so he gets up and drinks some hot tea and he actually falls asleep pretty easy. Meanwhile, Tina sleeps just fine.

– CROCODILES ARE EVERYWHERE!! LOOK OUT!! Bob and Linda must defend their family while keeping the business afloat. Gene gets a belly button ring at the mall.

– Louise grows three feet only to shrink four feet and then grow one more foot to go back to normal. This episode is one shot and takes place in a doctor’s office in front of a growth chart. The rest of the family does a sleep study so they can be asleep the whole time and we don’t have to worry about them.

– The Belchers take in a stray dog that may or may not be responsible for a rising number of mysterious mauling instances around the neighborhood. Mr. Fischoeder learns to play the guitar.

– Gene becomes a dog that can talk, and you won’t believe the things he says. Bob can’t decide where to hang a picture.

– Burgers are outlawed and Bob is forced to start selling slap bracelets.

– Bob has to pretend to know how to swim after joining the army, only to reveal he knew how to swim the whole time and that he’s been working for the Russians! The Cold War is back on and it’s hotter than ever!

– We just totally rip off the movie SPACE CAMP.

SEASON 2 SPOILERS!*

Episode 201: Bob’s eyebrows grow back upside down.

Episode 202: Three years later, Gene finally breaks in his new closed toe sandals.

Episode 203: The sloth never loved Tina.

Episode 204: We ripped this one off from that Cosby Show where Denise makes Theo a shirt. Go watch that.

Episode 205: The only thing that kills the aliens is water. The twist: coconut water.

Episode 206: Bob didn’t really explode.

Episode 207: Who’s that girl? It’s Tina.

Episode 208: Somebody gets pregnant… in an all-new way.

Episode 209: Linda was right: you can’t be physically addicted to raisins.

Episode 210: Bob’s Burgers celebrates its 500th episode! 477 episodes early!

Episode 211: Gene introduces his new catch phrase, “HuhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHH????”

Episode 212: THE WHOLE FAMILY HAS RABIES.

Episode 213: Actually it’s just Louise who has rabies.

Episode 214: The operation to replace Gene’s tonsils is a huge success.

Episodes 215-220: A five-parter. Really pretentious. Honestly even we can’t make heads or tails of it.

Episode 221: Bob’s prized zen garden turns out to be a kitty litter box.

Episode 222: MEGA-SUSPENSEFUL SEASON FINALE! Teddy did it.

* All fake. For real spoilers, please pay the writers $50 each. One guy said he’d take $20 and maybe some old stereo equipment if you have any lying around.

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