[inhales]
OMG EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS DOG CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE HOW CUTE HE IS HIS NAME IS DEXTER AND HE IS 18 DAYS OLD AND HOLY BANANAS HE FITS INTO THAT PERSON’S HAND AND WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE I WANT TO DIE IT’S ALL TOO MUCH WHOA I JUST NOTICED HIS TINY LITTLE PAWS THEY ARE PINK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I WANT TO MAKE THIS PICTURE MY WALLPAPER AND NOT LIKE “COMPUTER WALLPAPER” BUT LIKE “THE PAPER THAT GOES ON THE BACKFLIPPING WALLS OF MY LIVING ROOM” SO I HAVE AN 8-FOOT-TALL VERSION OF DEXTER SURROUNDING ME ON ALL FOUR SIDES AND WHAT THE HELL THE CEILING TOO I’LL CALL IT MY PUPPY ROOM AND I’LL GO INTO IT WHENEVER I GET ALL STRESSED OUT AND I WILL IMMEDIATELY GO “AWWW, DEXTER” AND I’LL FEEL BETTER OK I REALLY NEED TO THINK ABOUT TAKING ANOTHER BREATH BECAUSE I AM STARTING TO GET LIGHTHEADED BUT I CAN’T STOP BECAUSE THIS PICTURE IS TOO MUCH AND I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT IT AND I BET DEXTER IS AS SOFT AS EXPENSIVE TOILET PAPER AND LIKES TO CUDDLE AND OK NOW I AM STARTING TO SEE SPOTS BUT HOLY SH-T HIS NOSE OH MY GOD I WANT THIS DOG TO BE MY FRIEND SO WE CAN GO TO MOVIES AND STUFF TOGETHER AND THEN WE’LL GO OUT TO DINNER AND I’LL SNEAK HIM SNACKS FROM THE TABLE UH OH MY CHEST REALLY HURTS GUYS WELP I GUESS THIS IS THE END IT WAS DEFINITELY WORTH IT I’LL MISS YOU DEXTERRRRRRRrrrrrrrr.
[dies]
