Last night’s episode of “Justified,” titled “Guy Walks Into a Bar,” was … uh … holy moley. I mean, it was easily one of the best episodes of scripted television I’ve seen all year, and if didn’t score Neal McDonough an Emmy nomination I don’t know what will, but YIKES, gang. All season long I’ve been trying to figure out Detroit mobster Robert Quarles, and last night we got a window into his mind while he was rapidly coming unglued. SHEESH. That is one troubled, rail gun-toting hombre. He’s a completely unpredictable loon at this point, and I can’t wait to see how the rest of the season plays out.
The highlights:
- “I only shot the one woman.”
- Lying about cancer while holding a shotgun is the best way to lie about cancer.
- HANDIES FOR VOTES
- Devious old ladies committing dairy-related assaults
- Dickie Bennett = “The floater that won’t go down.” (Related: Apparently Dickie has been going to Boyd’s barber. I approve.)
- “You are a conquistador. We are not your savages.” BOYD EFFING CROWDER, MASTER OF OBSCURE VOTING LAWS.
- #TeamBartender
- Raylan Givens: Worst legal advocate since Lionel Hutz.
- Wynn Duffy’s face during Quarles’ speech. All day long. (To quote @NDEddieMac,: “Wynn Duffy is the voice of reason…everyone is f’d.”)
- “I’m just gonna go ahead and file that under ‘Who gives a sh-t?'”
- Seriously though, that scene with Raylan and Quarles in the bar was fantastic. Maybe my favorite of the season. The hand puppet thing is going to give me nightmares for weeks.
- Also giving me nightmares: Everything Limehouse says and does. The scene at the end with the pigs? [shudders]
As per usual, GIFs by Chet Manley can be found on the next page, and we’ll be having a spoiler-heavy conversation in the comments. Today we’ll be joined by VJ Boyd (@VJBoyd), who wrote last night’s episode. He’s down to answer all your questions, so fire away. Or just post a million exclamation points and the words “WTF QUARLES GEEZ” and see what he has to say. For real, last night was a doozy.
Boyd Crowder is the smartest man alive.
STOP WASTING MILKSHAKES, YOU OLD BAG.
So intense. I was so fired up I didn’t get to sleep until like 3 a.m.
<3
Shine on you crazy, Oxy-chewing diamond.
Dickie’s hair last night was funnier than almost anything I’ve seen in a sitcom all year.
Nightmares, y’all. Nightmares.
Boyd is intrigued.
Well said, Wynn.
