‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: ‘The North Remembers’

I was out with friends this weekend, and after exchanging inane pleasantries with someone about the weather or something, our conversation changed to TV. I asked her if she was excited for the “Game of Thrones” premiere on Sunday. She said, “I haven’t actually started watching the show yet. Should I?” After resisting the urge to call my good friend Ser Ilyn Payne, I finally replied, “It’s pretty much the most awesome thing on TV.” That’s the only word I could think of to use, because while “Breaking Bad” is probably the overall best, and “Justified” definitely has the greatest hair, “Game of Thrones” is just AWESOME. It earns its “Just the Badass Parts” tag.

Even in its season two table-setting premiere, “The North Remembers,” which was relatively light with action (at least when compared to other “GoT” episodes), we were still treated to: baby murder, a fool having to drink an entire barrel of wine, a Madame teaching a prostitute how to have sex, references to incest, and Arya on a sick ox cart – all in the first five, and final five, minutes of the episode. Other highlights (and GIFs after the jump):

  • Give it up for the Dink, who’s now first billed during the opening credits. He’s already won the Emmy.
  • That walking pile of snake vomit, Joffrey…is not a good ruler.
  • I already like Sansa more than I did all of last season.
  • Hodor.
  • The show is so darn gorgeous. I loved the shot of the camera spinning around Daenerys, to show her riders going off to scout three different locations. It also looks, to quote Mr. Dink, very expensive.
  • Drogon, still adorable.
  • Craster should really think about turning his shack into a bed & breakfast. He can use his skulls as bowls.
  • Were any non-book readers confused about the Melisandre scenes? There wasn’t much set-up; writers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss expected you to follow along, and Davos the Onion Knight had a sudden entrance, too.
  • We barely got to meet Stannis, but we do know he’s humorless and owns a fantastic table.
  • So far, I’m most interested in the happenings at King’s Landing and North of the Wall. Rob’s never been my favorite character, though his scene with Jamie (and Grey Wind!) was tense, and Dany’s plight in the Red Waste is a bit slow. Needs. More. Dragons.
  • Attractive Women of “Game of Thrones” Power Rankings, Episode 1: #5. Osha, #4. Cersei #3. Shae, #2. Daenerys, #1. Melisandre. It’s the hair.

Please discuss your favorite moments in the episode (there’s a lot I left out), but please: NO SPOILERS. If you’ve read the books, pretend you haven’t. Only discuss what happened in “The North Remembers” (believe me, it’s tough, but it can be done). Don’t ruin it for those who haven’t read A Clash of Kings.

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Look at the way he licks his lips. I hate him so much. (Via)

I don’t care how meh the CGI is — Grey Wind is awesome. (Via)

Imagine him sounding like Goofy as he drops. So much funnier. (Thanks, Chet!)

CHUG CHUG CHUG (And again, Chet)

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Fans of “Skins” will recognize Gilly as Cassie (played by Hannah Murray).

I’m in love…and terrified, too. (Via)

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That sly devil (you too, Chet).

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