GIVE THIS MAN ALL THE 5 MIC RATINGS. If not for the sick beat or “don’t rape and don’t kill” line, then at least for the Will Smith and Third Eye Blind references.
Backstage with Alison Brie’s Band, the Girls, and Jones Street Station — Over the weekend, Alison Brie sang with her band, the Girls, and I got to meet (and get a picture with) her. Still haven’t recovered. (Uproxx)
The James Van Der Beek 6 Stages of Fame — #6. Film more videos of Michelle Trachtenberg rapping. (Uproxx)
The 20 Best Ozzie Guillén Misquotes — I shudder to think how many articles out there say Guillén’s “as loud as the Marlins’ new home run sculpture.” (With Leather)
Donald Glover Talks About His Amazing Spider-Man Easter Egg — Spider-Man, all about bro rape. HUGE Dave Matthews Band fan. (Gamma Squad)
The Most Obnoxious Generation: American Reunion Review — Guess which American Reunion cast member these IMDb facts are about: “Had a dog named Tequilla, was once considered Hollywood’s ultimate party girl, and is a Philadelphia Eagles fan.” That’s right: Eugene Levy! (Film Drunk)
The Start of Your Ending: Mobb Deep Breaks Up On Twitter? Hav Calls Prodigy Gay? — This story really earned its five Snoop Dogg facepalms. (Smoking Section)
21 Sad Girls At Sporting Events — It’s funny ’cause they’re sad. (BuzzFeed)
The 17 Best “South Park” Songs Ever — They got it wrong by not including “Make It Right” or the “Cash 4 Gold” song. (HuffPo)
Behind the Scenes of “Eagleheart” Season 2 — Love this show, love Chris Elliott. (Adult Swim)
4 minutes and 33 seconds of Nicolas Cage rendering your argument invalid by not saying a word — Murder by Silence, coming out in 2013. (Fark)
Chris Evans Only Likes Three Of His Movies — One of them had better be Not Another Teen Movie. “I knew it. That’s a line from She’s All That. I masturbate to that movie.” Still holds up. (MovieFone)
Is This Elijah Wood or Steve Buscemi? — It looks like a creature from Pan’s Labyrinth. (The FW)
10 Blind Spots in Our 90’s Sitcom Nostalgia — Walter Skinner was the REAL hero of “The X-Files,” but never gets the credit. (Pajiba)
Durex Knows How to Sell Condoms — I don’t get condom marketing. Isn’t “YOU (probably) WON’T GET A GIRL PREGNANT” enough? (Bro Bible)
Matt Groening: “Springfield Was Named After Springfield, Oregon” — Duh, replies everyone. (The High Definite)
