Donald Driver Was Somewhat Excited About Winning 'Dancing With the Stars'

Here is the complete list of things that will result in me doing a post about “Dancing With the Stars”:

1. Attractive female contestant falls out of dress
2. Someone does the Turk Dance
3. A cast member from a ’90s television show aimed at children or teens is announced as a contestant
4. Same as above but with DMX or Coolio or any member of the Wu-Tang Clan or Boyz II Men
5. Female dancer attempts tricky dance move and her stiletto flies off and stabs an audience member in the throat
6. That Bruno guy finally snaps while judging a performance and just, like, whips out his ding-a-ling or something
7. Tom Bergeron gets fired and is replaced with an animatronic panda named Bamboo
8. Someone poops and/or pees their pants
9. A spaceship lands on the roof of the studio and the aliens come inside and start vaporizing audience members with a space laser
10. NFL player wins the whole shebang and starts rolling around the stage like he’s on fire

So, here you go.

GIF via