Mad Men (AMC, Sunday) – On this week’s episode, Sally Draper burns hundreds of ants to death with a magnifying glass while laughing maniacally, then goes inside and drowns a cat in the bathtub. Probably.
Game of Thrones/Veep/Girls (HBO, Sunday) – I don’t watch any of these shows live, but I’ve got to believe — for those who do — the transition in style from “Game of Thrones” to “Veep” to “Girls” is jarring as hell. Like trying to drink coffee right after brushing your teeth.
Neal Brennan: The Half Hour (Comedy Central, Friday) – Neal Brennan, co-creator of “Chappelle’s Show” and all-around funny guy, has his first stand-up special airing tonight at 11:30 p.m. I strongly recommend you watch.
Fairly Legal/Common Law (USA, Friday) – I said this on Twitter (shameless plug), but at some point in the past few months, I became a person who DVRs “Fairly Legal” every Friday night and watches it Saturday morning, even though I am still not caught up on “Breaking Bad.” I’m not exactly sure how I feel about that.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) – Season finale, hosted by Mick Jagger. This could be the last episode for Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, and Jason Sudeikis, so I imagine we’re looking at a glorified Best Of episode for the three. BRING BACK BLIZZARD MAN.
The Simpsons/Bob’s Burgers/Family Guy (FOX, Sunday) – Season finales, all around. Lady Gaga appears on “The Simpsons,” as discussed here.
Jesse Stone: Benefit of the Doubt (CBS, Sunday) – The latest in the series of CBS’s made-for-TV movies. These actually aren’t bad, for the record. But on a night where it’s up against so much other quality television, not even Tom Selleck’s luxurious mustache can get me to watch.
Sherlock (PBS, Sunday) – I have been furious with my parents ever since I found out that Benedict Cumberbatch was a thing you could name a baby. It makes my name look so boring by comparison. That’s why I’m naming my first son Stegosaurus Jones. No regrets, you know?
The Client List (Lifetime, Sunday) – This is probably the best show about handjobs currently on television.
Aziz Ansari: Dangerously Delicious/Hannibal Buress: Animal Furnace (Comedy Central, Sunday) – In addition to Neal Brennan’s special on Friday, Comedy Central is also airing these two specials back-to-back on Sunday night. Ansari’s is the one he released online a few months ago, and Buress’s is brand spanking new. Both dudes are hilarious, so these also come with a very strong recommendation. DVR them. You’ll thank me.