2 Broke Girls (CBS, 8 p.m.) – Season finale. Not only does this episode last 60 minutes longer than it should, which is to say it’s an hour-long episode, it also has a grammatically incorrect title. “And Martha Stewart Have a Ball”? In the name of all that is holy (Kat Denning’s breasts), what does that mean??? Daenerys is pissed.
MLB Baseball (ESPN, 7 p.m.) – My overachieving Mets play Danger’s underachieving Phillies in Philadelphia in a game that decides nothing because it’s May. Meanwhile, Dustin’s Cleveland Spiders continue to not exist. (He’s not much of a sports guy.)
World’s Wildest Police Videos (Spike, 8 p.m.) – In case you missed it (you monster), here’s our post about this show from earlier today. One more thing: Sheriff John Bunnell has a wonderfully active IMDb message board. Sample comment: “This douche with his annoying voice or the writers blow the situations WAY out of proportion.” You’d think a show with “World’s” and “Wildest” in the title wouldn’t exaggerate, but alas.
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel, 9 p.m.) – Bourdain goes to Japan for the “Cook It Raw” festival, which is both an oxymoron and possibly the only place in the world where you can get “smoky grilled pork and subtle purple yam with a ring of peppery foraged greens,” which sounds amazing.
Castle (ABC, 10 p.m.) – Season finale. And so Castle made of [fill in the plot point because I don’t watch the show] fall in the sea, eventually.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Beth Behrs and Spiritualized on Letterman; Michelle Pfeiffer and Bear Grylls and Leno; Kristen Stewart and Chloe Grace Moretz on Kimmel; Steve Guttenberg on Ferguson; Jennifer Connelly and the Beach Boys on Fallon; Metta World Peace and Matt Walsh on Conan; Sacha Baron Cohen on Stewart; and Andy Cohen on Colbert